DBZ: THE TIME TITONS
by Splintered Thorn
Summary: When Goku hears from King Kai, the powerful Magnas (their story in Chapter 1) are going to destroy Earth, what is he going to do?
1. Default Chapter

DBZ: Complete Destruction  
  
Chapter 1  
  
It was a day like any other for Goku, (before the Buu thing.) He was having a peaceful life in the land of the Grand Kai, when all of a sudden King Kai (from Earth, not his obnoxious family) ran toward him screaming "GOKU, GOKU, GOKUUUUUUUU!" "What is it King Kai, time to eat?" "NO GOKU! THE MAGNAS ARE HEADING FOR EARTH!!!" "The what?" "Magnas Goku, I guess you don't know the story of the Magnas do you?" "Nope, sure don't K.K." "It started 65 Million Years ago." "Isn't that when the dinosaurs ruled the Earth." "Nope, that's when Magna Mana, and Magna Mona first appeared." "They're the Magnas?" "YES! And they were brothers to make it worse. The two despised each other, sort of like. you and. well, you and Cell." "So one was an android?" "NO! PAY ATTENTION GOKU! They weren't born on earth though, they were born on this very planet."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASH BACK 65 MIL. YEARS AGO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Narrated by King Kai)  
  
The Magnas ruled over the galaxy before any human stepped foot on land, in fact there wasn't even any dinosaurs. The two Magnas had a very bad temper towards each other and every time they met and fought and destroyed the planet they were on. At that time of day two heroes stepped out of the cosmos, Spine Fungi and Spine Fugo, both of equal strength and size, but what was different about them was they were in harmony with each other. They had no temper because they had no reason to hate each other, sort of like a butterfly in its cocoon. The Spines despised what the Magnas were doing and made it their duty to bring the people of the worlds that they destroyed to harmony, so using their combined powers they created earth, with three shields, the Ourango, The Turango, and the Sam. (Why I don't know) that kept earth from being destroyed by the Magnas.  
One day the Magnas happened to meet by Earth, yet not on a planet, so they sought to fight on earth, the Spines seeing this didn't want to take any chances so they sacrificed their lives in order to save the planet they loved. They used their power to push the Magnas all the way back to the edge of the universe. There they hoped they would not venture back to earth ever again.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back to the Present~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You get that Goku?" "Yeah, so these Magnas are like Buu right?" "Stronger than anyone you have ever faced before, but you can't fight them." "Then who can, my son's in colledge now, Goten is too young. YOU'RE NOT SAYING CHICHI HAS TO FIGHT?!?!?!?!" "No Goku, Vegeta, you have to contact Vegeta, and tell him what's going on." "Oh, ok."  
  
~~~~TO BE CONTINUED~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	2. chapter 2: the day of destruction is com...

Chapter 2: Day of Destruction is Upon the Earth  
  
Goku, after eating a full meal, was ready to contact Vegeta. "Ok K. K. let's do this thang." "CALL ME KING KAI, NOT K.K.!!!!!" "whatever dude, let's contact Vegeta to save the world."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back on earth~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
This wasn't the best time for Vegeta. "VEGETA! LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY BEATUIFUL LIVING ROOM!!!!!" "What of it woman?" "YOU MISTER ARE TOO VIOLENT FOR LITTLE TRUNKS!!! If you don't shape up, I'm kicking you out and will get a court order to never let you see your child again." "what do I have to do sweety?" "How about not fight for at least 5 months, no matter what, ok?" "(groan) ok honey, what could happen in that time anyway?"  
  
'VEGETA!' "WAAA!" 'hey, it's me Goku' "How's being dead karrottop?" 'I thought you were calling me Kakarrot?' "I got bored of that name, what do you want?" 'These two giant titans are coming to destroy earth, I need you to stop them from.' "Sorry Karrottop, I made a promise to my wife not to fight for 5 months." 'SHE'LL BE DESTROYED IF YOU DON'T DO SOMETHING!' "Sorry, I can't, a promise is a promise Karrottop."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Dead World~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"He can't fight K. K." "WHY NOT, HE'S THE WORLD'S ONLY HOPE!!!" "I know of one other person who isn't at school or bald that can help." "WHO GOKU, WE HAVE TO ACT FAST!!!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Master Roshi's island~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Listen Baldy, either I get a day without you bugging me in the morning, drooling in the bed, or listening to dumb music or I'm getting a divorce!" "So when are you going to tell that to Krillin?" The turtle said. "I can't he's too sweet and that would be too mean, although I wish I could destroy something every now and then." 18 said. "Well, since Gohan's in School and Vegeta's um. Vegeta, that makes you the strongest person on the planet."  
  
TO BE CONTINUED..... 


	3. Chapter 3: Server busy

Chapter 3: a new hero  
  
Last we left Goku, he was scrambling to find someone to defend the earth from the Magnas, two siblings who had a major beef with each other, and to make things worse, Gohan was in school and Vegeta promised his wife he wouldn't fight.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Master Roshi's Island~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Krillin, why do we live on this dump?" "Because we don't have to pay rent." "Good reason hun, now I feel the need to go shopping." "we just went yesterday!" "but I don't like this dress, it makes me look fat." "SO?!"  
  
"I DO NOT WANT TO LOOK FAT FOR YAMCHA'S WEDDING!!!!" "ever since your brother got killed you've been a little edgy." "That's because there isn't anything fun to do anymore." "like what, blow up stuff, fight monsters and aliens, I mean that's ok, but I wouldn't consider it fun." "I miss the action." "I thought we decided to live without F-I-G-H-T-I-N-G monsters." "Why are you spelling things out, I can spell." "but S-H-E C-A-N N-O-T."  
  
Krillin pointed to his young daughter that had the beauty of her mother (thank the Lord) "Daddy, aren't you glad I look like mommy and not be bald like you?" "18, did you teach her this?" "I just told her where her beauty came from, it certainly didn't come from your side." "WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT, I think she got my hair and eyes." "yes dear, you have blue eye, not black, and blond hair, not black you two could be mistaken for twins, THE ONLY THING SHE GOT FROM YOU IS YOUR S-I-Z- E." "Don't S-H-O-U-T in front of her." "I'm leaving Krillin and you'll be happy about that because I'm taking my daughter with MY looks with me!" "FINE BE THAT WAY!" "WHO'S SHOUTING NOW?"  
  
"NOT ME, I CAN TELL YOU THAT!" "OH, RIGHT AND THAT'S YET ANOTHER THING SHE'LL PROBABLY GET BECAUSE YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO DO IT!" "BYE!" "BYE!"  
  
18 flew off without a sound, well except for the sonic boom, and all the while thinking, I'll find the Dragon Balls and wish my brother back to have some fun, and free shopping.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Dead World~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"GOKU, WE HAVE TO FIND SOMEONE FAST!" "I know just the person, Android #18!" "isn't she the one who tried to destroy the planet but was eaten by Cell, then Krillin married her and they had a child named, ironically, after his ex-girlfriend and if they get divorced and he re-marries Marin, when he says 'Marin dinner is ready' he won't have to say two names because they have the same name, and if." "Yes that one." "Ok, where is she?" "At Master Roshi's Island." "Ok I'll call."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The island~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Krillin, this is Goku, is 18 there?" "No she left, AND GOOD WRITTENS!" "why, did you two have a fight?" "No, she wanted to go shopping so she did, (yelling toward the living room) AND SHE'LL BE BACK FROM SHOPPING SOON!" "oh, I see M-A-R-I-N is near."  
  
Marin enters the room, "wow, that's how you spell my name, how ironic."  
  
"Yes Goku," "What direction did she leave in?" "toward Bulma's house." "Guess she really went shopping." "ok, I have to go cook because the woman of the house isn't here." "I wonder what happened to that girl who used to live with Master Roshi and changed hair color and when she was blond she was evil and when she was blue she was nice, is blue even a natural hair color anyway? And what about." "Bye Goku!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~you guess~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I have to find 18, she wasn't at the island, and worse, I can't think of the multicolored girl who used to live at Master Roshi's house." "Whatever Karrottop." "DO NOT START THAT KING KAI!" "or what Karrot?" "Or I'll call you K.K." "ok, ok, just don't call me that." "deal."  
  
To be continued................ 


	4. Chapter 4 Comedy Relief

Chapter 4: Shopping is a Sport  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LAST TIME~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
ok, last time 18 ran off without a word, the Magna's are closer to earth, Krillin is in his midlife crisis, and Goku and King Kai made a truce to never call each other Karrottop and K.K.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Bulma's House~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
18 lands at Bulma's house and Bulma races to the door.  
  
"BULMA!!!"  
  
"18!!!!!!!!" "IT IS SOO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!!"  
  
WANT TO GO SHOPPING 18?" "YOU BET, I HAVE KRILLIN'S MASTER CARDS AND I AM READY FOR ACTION!!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Roshi's island~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Krillin notices his master cards are gone.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back to shopping~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The terrible two (18 and Bulma) no only max out theirs, and their husband's credit cards, but also take out money from their kids' bank accounts and their husband's shopping funds. But like always in stories usually about action, this is the part the Magnas attacked Earth.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" "WHAT BULMA?!?!?!"  
  
"I just can't believe this 18, I chipped a nail." Ok, so this isn't a story written by the original DBZ writer, so the Magnas don't attack yet.  
  
"Oh brother,"  
"These nails cost me over $50 just to get right."  
"haven't you ever thought of making Vegeta do them for you?"  
"no does Krillin do yours?"  
  
"yes, and a bad job at that."  
"let's see"  
  
18 holds out an awful pair of nails that have little, poorly drawn happy faces on them.  
  
"you poor dear."  
"I'm a woman, not an animal."  
"How so."  
"Where do you want to go next?"  
"I think Vegeta needs a haircut,"  
"But 18, we spent all the money we could possible get."  
  
The two thought and came to a unanimous decision.  
  
"WE'LL CUT HIS HAIR EVEN THOUGH WE HAVEN'T HAD ANY TRAINING!!!"  
  
Suddenly the two saw EVENESCENCE, the GRAMMY WINNING SUPER GROUP playing, so what else to do but watch and have a great time.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~DEAD WORLD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Goku and King Kai had tried all the places they thought 18 would go, the pizza place, Radio Shack, Big Bob's Buger Burgers, etc.  
  
"I can't figure out where they are King Kai."  
"Where ever they are, they have to be clueless about the Magnas."  
  
Duh, they were at an EVENESCENCE CONCERT, where the only thing you concentrate on is the GOOD MUSIC!!!  
  
"The have to be having a better time then us."  
"After this want to have a party Goku?"  
"Like a birthday party?"  
"Yes and we'll get Pikkon to be the clown."  
"OH GOODDY!!!!!"  
"THAT WAS A JOKE GOKU!!!!"  
"you mean Pikkon isn't going to be the clown?"  
"He might if you ask nicely."  
"WHOOPPYYY!!!!"  
"let's get back to work finding 18!"  
  
"PIKKON IS GOING TO BE A CLOWN YEAH!!!!!!"  
  
To be continued (hopefully with some of the characters being serious.).. 


End file.
